with your own penis?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
