So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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