are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize