I'm really into asian looking animals
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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