Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
