Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
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Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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