I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize