She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
