Soap is not a condiment
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
