Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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