Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize