Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
