Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The ass gains better be worth it
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