So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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