it was like eating out sand paper
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
