so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
