we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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