Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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