Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
