PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish I only lived at night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
