i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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