I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
