Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
