My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
