that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
