i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
