I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
