if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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