"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
