dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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