420 ftw
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
