i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
