The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
