don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
