i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
