i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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