Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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