Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
