How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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