READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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