dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
