You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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