I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize