Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
