'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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