Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
