like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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