btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize