So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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