It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
