Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
