girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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