I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
