trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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