I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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