Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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