I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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