i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize