ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
