well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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