Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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