it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
