One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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