How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am one with the molecules
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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