she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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