Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This baby is an asshole
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I touched a dick in church today
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
