we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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