So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
