Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
