I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
