Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
