Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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