I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
